Thursday, December 07, 2006

Communication is Vital to Men

A friend of mine sent the following to me via email today. These are key for anyone trying to figure out men or women. Enjoy!

MAN'S DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.................................49.

Adventurous.........................Slept with everyone.

Athletic...............................No breasts.

Average looking.....................Moooo.

Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure..................On medication.

Feminist..............................Fat.

Free Spirit.............................Junkie.

Friendship first.......................Former Slut.

New-Age.............................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned.......................No oral sex

Open-minded........................Desperate.

Outgoing.............................Loud and embarrassing.

Professional..........................Bitch.

Voluptuous..........................Very fat.

Large frame...........................Hugely fat.

Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes.....................................No

No.....................................Yes

Maybe................................No

We need...............................I want

I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry

We need to talk......................You're in trouble

Sure, go ahead........................You better not

Do what you want...................You will pay for this later

I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!

You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry...........................I am hungry

I am sleepy............................I am sleepy

I am tired..............................I am tired

Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!

I love you..............................Let's have sex now

I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?

May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.

Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.

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